Throughout this experience I’ve been contemplating the life of an indoor cat, personally I believe a living being should not be condemned to indoor air forever. But last week on Wednesday August 26 I got my diagnosis, stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Rare, deadly, with very limited treatment options. Even before I got to the doctor’s appointment I planned to opt for hospice. Unless I heard a miracle, like 3 months on chemo would buy me 6 years of quality life. No miracle was offered, I was told I have weeks to live. I opted for hospice. Therefore now I am an indoor cat, like it or not!

Hospice came on Thursday and brought some physical relief right away. I don’t know what’s happening on the inside when you have this cancer, but outside you bloat up like mad— I gained 40 lbs of water in 10 days from the IVs, which then caused me to strain a muscle in my stomach trying to lift a weight I wasn’t used to.

Now, it is a juggling match to see loved ones, take care of my “estate”, and manage my pain. Hope to post more soon, I love seeing the old photos and hearing from you.

I love you all day, Lani